i broke your hair clip on the back of the sofa / pushed you too hard / oops! / i am looking / for a hole / to fill / to distract me / from my own / there is a glittering dad in all of us / a reflective pool / i have never been able / to reach the bottom of / the deep end / but i know it is there / you kiss me / at a pub in peckham / i haven’t experienced / homophobia like this / in years / makes me long for / the good old days / where shame was clearly rooted on my skin / i didn’t have to think twice / about where to look for it / now it comes out unexpectedly / a pushing motion / i want you to see you / how i see you / and be upset / i know / i’m working on my cruelty / but it persists / like stubborn leaves / refusing to fall / or be collected / you acting like a lawnmower / such a dad thing to do
CIARA MAGUIRE is a writer living in Glasgow. Her work has previously been published in Extra Teeth, Gutter, SPAM Zine, Propel Magazine and more. She is the editor of Queer Futures Zine.