Natalie Perman
case study the sound of a piano overture the shape of a scarf with loose threads
context:
mother clipped fingernails into crescent white tiles
she pressed notes into sound with two fingers like popping a spot
she was young and her hair outgrew her in bushes of black yarn
they knitted into her second knuckles over blooming red eczema
grandmother’s wrinkles swelled hidden in a teacup
kept in the microwave
objective:
grandmother tweezed threads out of mother’s fingers for the school music night
she polished mother’s face like a shoe
the LEDs lit up her nose like a pool of oil
mother grinned to her friend leslie in the blue crowd
she was in eighth grade
her thumbs-up like a boat taking on water
study design:
mother crafted her hands into a bridge then a lake then a tower
it could have held a month of sound at its tip
she released e minor like a cry at the back of the throat
ringing through the dip of the tongue
the wrong action or decision:
mother lifted a finger to scratch her nose and a note squealed its escape
a false note
the bridge slumped at its left end
how the issue was handled or resolved:
mother held the pedal flat to the wooden floor
long after she had closed her book
she hoped the sound would wind into grandmother’s ear
tickle her muscles into a smile
she pulled the strings through her soles into a blanket that could be worn in winter
when the snow fell heavier than light
analysis:
the lights dimmed and she bowed
grandmother did not clap
in the car she held my mother’s ear between two fingers
her seatbelt was undone and the road winded a loop of silver
the sky was dark and my mother wanted to wrap it like a scarf around her
grandmother had forgotten her contacts and swerved in and out of white lines
tires swallowing tarmac like the gulp of the spotty boy onstage
who sang ave maria with a hand hung over his chest
she cradled grandmother’s words like roadkill in her open hands.
what a disgrace
no more piano lessons
my mother leant back and felt her hair lift from the rip in the left car door
a bird settling on the bend of the road ahead, picking at its claws.
key findings:
my mother dreams these memories like pulling thread
she carries them loose on her arms in black hairs
she learnt how to make a living bending metal into earrings
that would shine green on someone’s cheek
last year she stayed with my grandmother all night
when she coughed until her lungs rattled like a baby’s toy
she put on a piano record- grandmother’s favourite
and listened silently as she hummed along.
NATALIE PERMAN studies English and German at St John’s, Oxford. She is a Foyle Young Poet, winner of the Forward Student Critic’s Award, the Mapleton-Bree Prize and various challenges connected to the Poetry Society’s Young Poets Network.