Phoebe Stuckes

Phoebe Stuckes

[Femme Fatigue]

I don’t want to wear these boots anymore
but I spent half the day pulling them on
now the day will be wasted if I can’t kick them up
on a table snap a compact shut and say what’s next
aloud to no one everyone else is dead or at work
am I the only girl clever enough to have nothing
to do who do I think I am Jean Rhys Freddie Mercury
a hologram of Gia Carangi who will wire me the money
to keep doing this this everything is anyone there
can anyone hear me is this microphone live

[Purple Heart]

My ex’s aura is bright red and mine is blue
or violet or vantablack disappearing dark
and taking all the light with it I want to call her
on the phone and listen to her describe things
beaches in Oregon her new girlfriend on roller skates
the weather the only way to fall out of love
is to write poems like this as your heart leaks poisonously
into your chest like hotel shampoo into a suitcase
like you I am wondering if I will always be like this


Always breaking up/just broke up/with someone/
broken up about it/in pieces/heart-broken/who did it
I’ll kick their teeth in/yes I am broken/
heart-aching/cutting myself/trying to pick it up/
yes I am/too much/foolish/cleaning broken
glass up/wrong/broke a window/trying to get into
/the house I used to live in/now/I have nowhere/to go

PHOEBE STUCKES is a writer from Somerset. Her pamphlet, Gin & Tonic, was shortlisted for The Michael Marks Award 2017. In 2019 she received an Eric Gregory Award for her first collection, Platinum Blonde, which will be published by Bloodaxe in 2020.